How Much?I thought I'd finally caught a break
Maybe after all this pain I've found solitude
But the whole time you were looking at me, you pictured her
Everytime you found your way back to me it meant nothing
That look when you see me, was only because I reminded you of her
But how can you deny that?
The glint in your eyes and the way you let me touch you
This connection I feel to you even now
Do I mean something to you? Or was I just naive?
I still love you.
But I hate myself.
Because I love you.
HerI want to hate her
She took you from me
My only, the person who mattered most to me
Snatched out of my life
I want to rip her to shreds
Drain the life from her like you stole the life from me
Write our initials in her blood
Laugh when I watch your heart shatter, like you did to me
Cruel, sick son of a bitch
But I know that she makes you happy
That she'll always come first
And she paints a smile on your face
I'm a liar.
You've never seemed more in pain that you have since I found out.
Knowing you didn't take a risk on me, but not knowing why.
Loving me more and more, but bound to her
I want to hate her
I really, really do.
HeartbrokenI loved, I cared, I gave you all that I could,
My misfortune; I couldn't be all that you wanted.
I hoped, I wished, and I thought you understood,
My misfortune; my heart felt taunted.
I wondered, I asked, and I prayed for your own good.
My misfortune; I felt so unwanted,
I pleaded, I begged, all to share thoughts I could,
My misfortune; I neglected the hurt you had planted.
I was stupid, I was blind, I was unable to read your mind,
My misfortune; I still messaged you.
I learnt my lesson, I felt the world, I now think I know it,
Dont worry, you shall never feel so lacerated.
I promise, I swear, I shall never speak to you again,
For I deserved it all to have fallen for you.
I was silly, I was weird, and I was dumb to think --
How could I been the one you cherished?
But may you answer if you could -- how could someone be so indecisively cruel?
A cold-heart with its own blood, uncaring with bleeding hearts
I question if you care truly for my well being,
Or if it is just an illusion to fill